Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Thank God for 2010

The year is finally coming to an end. It has brought me a lot of wonderful memories I will keep and cherish for the rest of my life. I had my share of laughters and tears. I had both the good and the bad. Definitely, 2010 is a year that brought me a lot of learning in life.

I guess it is only right that before the year comes to its finale, I thank the people who became part of my 2010's life's journey. I need not to name names for you know who you are. 

To my family, thank you for always being there. Thank you for allowing me to be just myself whenever I am with you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for I know I will always have you especially when the world becomes rude. Thank you for becoming my strength when I am weak. Thank you for being my laughter when I am sad. Thank you for showering me with love, patience, care, and understanding. Thank you for backing me up when things are not going my way. Thank you because I have you. I know for sure that I will always have you as long as I live. 

To my friends - from childhood, teenage years, college years, and friends from my previous jobs, thank you for the love and the friendship. Thank you for sharing a part of yourselves to me, as well as for allowing me to become part of your lives. Thank you for all the good words, as well as the not so good. Thank you for always being there every time. Thank you for letting me discover a lot of things about myself. Thank you for all the things that I have learned from you. Thank you for the companionship. Thank you for making me laugh, as well as making me cry. Thank you for lending an ear from my corniest jokes to my saddest stories.Thank you for your warm embraces and sweet smiles. Thank you for becoming a family to me. Thank you so much. I hope you would still be with me as the new year comes. 

To my former colleagues, thank you for sharing your professional expertise with me. A lot of you have become my friends, who I will forever be thankful for. 

To those who never believed in me, thank you. Thank you because I have learned a lot from you. I have grown up because of you. Thank you for now I strive harder to become better. 

To those who broke my heart in different ways, thanks as well. I have become a stronger person because of you. Thank you for at least making me realize a lot of things. Thank you because I have learned a lot. Thank you because I know somehow, sometime in your lives, you have allowed me to be into it. Thank you for you have played a huge role in molding my better self. Thank you because you made me go through one of the things people need to experience in life.

To people who came and left, thank you too. Thank you for passing by.

As they say, people and things come for a certain reason. Some may leave, while some may stay, but then again they came because they're meant to. There's always a purpose why you've met them or why you have gone through a certain experience.  

As the year closes, I just would want to pray that the people who become part of my life will continue to be blessed. That they may continue to receive the blessings they deserve from the good Lord. I pray as well that they may continue to be part of my life, and that I too may continue to have the pleasure of becoming a part of their lives. 

I have to say that I will end this year with a joyful heart for I know God has been so good to me. I am excited for the coming year for I know God is about to unfold a lot more wonderful things for me and the people I love. 

Cheers for a great year that is coming to an end.

Cheers to a new and exciting year!

 



Friday, December 10, 2010

All I Want For Christmas

"Santa can you hear me, I've been good this year, and all i want is one thing."

In two weeks, it's gonna be Christmas! I feel a little sad, because I know for sure I won't be opening even a single gift. Add to that, no Christmas party to attend to. Isn't that really sad?

Anyway, though that is the case, I still would want to share my Christmas wish list. Who knows, things might change? Suddenly, someone might think of giving me something to open on Christmas eve. 

What I want for Christmas:

- a really good book (a handy Bible would be the best)
- lots of pen (of different colors - been influenced by a friend)
- a cute journal (something that looks vintage)
- a very useful and cute organizer 
- more true friends for keeps
- a long-lasting job
- a love that lasts a lifetime
- happiness for all
- peace in every person's heart

More than the material stuff, I am looking forward to receiving gifts that would make me a better person. I am hoping to be blessed with gifts that would mold me to become the person God wants me to be. With all honesty, it's hard to list down material things that I want. Maybe because I know in my heart that it's not what I need. After all, I can always buy one when I really want it - I just need to work hard first and not ask it for an instant.

Also, I guess I have really grown up. Looking at my list, I am no longer looking forward to having something that would only last a few days. Now, I am more into gifts that would not only benefit myself but others as well. :)


(Advance) Happy Holidays to All! :D




Thursday, December 9, 2010

A Special Day for ADA

Happy Second Birthday ADA!

Who's ADA? Well, it stands for A Dreamer's Avenue! :D

Drum rolls please....

Anyway, what would I say? The past blogging year has been great. It has opened me to something new. I never thought that my once anonymous blog is now on its debut to stardom (wishing upon a falling star, hahaha).

Seriously, I'd want to take this opportunity to THANK all the people (parang sa awards night lang, hahaha) who have visited my blog, people who stayed connected to my blog, people who once came and never came back, people who read my thoughts even if most of the time it's so cliche and sometimes even boring, people who read but opted to stay anonymous to me, people who in one way or another have enjoyed ADA.

Thank you so much. Like I've said before, I started this blog out of personal reason, and so I never thought it would come this far. For its two years existence, all I can say is, it made me realize how much I love this blog. This blog is going a long way pa. 

For those who always visit ADA, I promise to share more of my personal escapades here. Expect that there will be a lot of changes as I begin my third year. Perhaps the coming blogging year would be more interactive as I will try to answer comments from my dear co-bloggers. If time would allow, I'd love to meet some bloggers as well. I also would want to expand my virtual world meaning, I'd want to know other bloggers and their blog sites as well. :)

Again, thank you and I do hope you'll stay still with me in the years to come. Happy blogging! Happy birthday to my dear ADA! :D


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Music and Me


I have a very articulate ear when it comes to music. I love soulful music, which I can relate to. I love mellow sound, which for me is associated to mellow voices.

I am choosy when it comes to who sings the song. I love to listen to voices of people who can make my heart melt. I hate loud music, which means loud voices as well. I know most of us Filipinos love the "birit" factor. We adore people who sings high notes. Well, not me.

I adore singers who doesn't need to belt out, but rather sing from the heart. For me, a real singer or musician is someone who could make the person listening to them feel what their song is all about. I salute those who can make people relate to their songs. Those who sings with real emotions and not just after hitting the high notes.

Among foreign singers, I love Boyz II Men and Bryan Mcknight. I love their songs and more so, I love their voices. They're really musical geniuses.

As for the local ones, I love Aiza Seguerra, Juris, Side A, Freestyle, South Border, and just recently, the Ezra Band. The latter is a newbie, but I just so love the voice. I don't care much about the sexuality. The vocalist is far better than other singers who are given huge chances in the music scene. Oh by the way, I also love RJ Jimenez's music.

I feel bad that people nowadays (I'm talking about here in the Philippines) are so hooked with artists or should I say singers who actually do not have what it takes to be called one. I know, I know, I am of no authority to say this, but I'm just pissed off knowing that the music industry nowadays are just after the money. They don't develop great talents anymore. Thus, they settle for those who actually cannot sing.

Musicians such as Ezra Band and RJ Jimenez are two wonderful talents that only if they're given the chance to make it big in the field that I believe is theirs really.

Lately, I've been engrossed in watching videos in YouTube. It amazes me knowing that there are a lot of talented Filipinos out there, who sadly are not given the breaks they deserve. I was watching Joseph Vincent, Gabe Bondoc, and AJ. These three are actually Filipinos living in a foreign land. I think they're actually making names already in the music scene in their respective places. Really, Filipinos are born to be musicians.

******
A Little Personal Revelation

I love music. I love it badly. Unlike other people though, I am suppressed to live music. I am somewhat frustrated because I did not have the chance to be properly trained, and was never encouraged to pursue what I love most. I love to sing, and I love the feeling when people are pleased whenever I sing. I love the feeling of being asked to sing over and over again, just because they love me singing.

No, I am not like Charice, Sarah, or those other singers of their genre. I am more into soul music, more into inspirational ones.

By the way, I bought my first guitar without letting my parents know about it. I saved a quarter of my allowance just so I could buy my own guitar and learn how to play it. After three years, I now own a better guitar, a white guitar that I just so love. What made it more special to me now is, because of my guitar, I could now sing my own compositions. Sad to say though, I am shy to share it yet. Maybe one day, when I have enough courage, I'll share it to other people. :D



Thursday, November 25, 2010

30 Days Before Christmas: Anything Goes

Another chapter in my life is coming to an end. Looking back, I only have good things in mind for I chose not to look at the bad ones. I have always been grateful for every opportunity that comes. I have always been grateful for the people I got to meet. I have always been grateful for every experience I've gone through.

I have never been this strong in my life. I have never been this positive. I wanted to cry, not because I am sad for the forthcoming ending, but because I will leave amazing peers behind. I have found a new family who I got to be with in creating a wonderful bond and a bunch of memories.

More than feeling sad, I am happy. I am happy because I know there's something better waiting for me. I am happy because I know I am given the chance to explore the world outside this four-corner room I am now in.

Life has been fair. It has given me both the good and bad. It's molding me to becoming the best I can be.

I was never afraid of new beginnings. In fact, I've always been thrilled. I've always been excited to know what's coming ahead of me.

I was never afraid of endings either. Because I know that whenever something comes to its end, something far better is coming along. We all deserve the best. Therefore, things have to end when it's not yet the best.

***
I was never good at saying goodbye. I guess I am better in saying "see you when i see you." The world is too small for our paths to not cross. We will see each other again sometime soon. :)

***
Let this be my way as well of saying thank you for everything. Thank you for all the good memories. Finally, it's time to MOVE ON. :)

***

In a couple of days, I will be back to the province for the Feast of Immaculate Conception. Though I was so disappointed with my Filipiniana dress or should I say gown, I just would want to think that it would be fun since this is going to be my very first time to wear such dress or gown again. I think I was on my 6th grade when I last wear a Filipiniana.

***
I am excited to see my ever loved friends. I feel so blessed having such good friends around. No matter where I go, I know I always have friends to go back to. Of course, I am excited to see my family as well. Can't wait to mingle with my makulit na pamangkin, and have some nice talks with my older sis.

***
I could hardly feel the holidays. I don't know why, but maybe when I'm home I would. Perhaps with the huge Christmas tree at home (in the province), I will no longer feel this way.

***
I am excited for PEBA! Yes, I am looking forward to attending the awards night. I hope nothing would hinder me from going - it's going to be my first time to attend a bloggers' event (if ever) and it's PEBA. :)

***
I don't want to be sad, but I am so gonna miss my new found friends. I'll be missing the people I am leaving behind. Anyway, things happen for a reason, and besides, my friendship with them won't end as I leave.

***
Endings and beginnings. Both are essential to our lives. We have to learn how to cope up with it. Oh my, I am half excited, half scared, but I know I will be okay as God is leading the way. I can't wait for my new beginning. :)

***
For now, just like most of everybody, let's enjoy the coming holidays. Wow! I can't wait to eat a lot of food this coming holidays! Yeah, more than anything else, I am excited to eat! :D

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

In Time, The Wound Will Heal

 (This has been in my drafts for a couple of weeks now. I wrote this during the time when my emotions were down because of something unexpected. - Indeed, writing is a therapy. Note: This is a little emo. :-p)

Whoever gets to read this, or if the person I am referring to gets to read this, just let me be.

Today I was bombarded with a common fact that sometimes, you just have to let things be no matter how painful it may be. I learned another lesson, which I will bear with me as I continue traversing this road called, life.

I am no longer a baby trying to learn how to crawl. I am no longer a kid starting to learn how to read and write. I am no longer a teenager trying to know herself. I am now an adult. An adult who's bound to experience both the good and bad of life.

Life has given me so much. I laughed and cried. I put a smile on my face and showed some tears running down my cheeks. I loved and lost.

Though I have been through a lot, I never intend to stop. I never intend to surrender. I continuously embrace what's given to me.

I admit, I am hurt. As the song goes, "I can't believe what I just heard. Could it be true?"

Memories flashback.

In life, I've learned to let things be. To not question what's going on. I've learned to keep my silence so as not to hurt anyone. But yeah, the more you keep things to yourself, the more it hurts. The more you try to hide what you're feeling, the more you're crushed down.

I am not a neophyte when it comes to love nor an expert. Just like most of us, I came across the highs and lows of falling in love. But I realized, the best thing about falling in love is, when you expect less from the other person. When you learn to be happy for the person you love. When no matter how painful things may be, you bear it, cry a little, be happy for the other person, and move on.

No, I am not a martyr, not even a hero of love. I am just a human who loves.

"I'd rather hear the truth than believe in a lie."

While writing this, I'm trying to hide the pain from the people around me. I'm trying not to shed a tear. I'm holding back my emotions, but deep inside I know I just want to run home and cry. I just want to feel the pain so I could easily let go of the hurt. Deep inside I know I can't hide what I am truly feeling.

Time heals. Distance does as well. Now I understand why I had to go. Now I understand why I had to be honest to myself for once. Now I understand why it all had to happen. All along He was preparing me for today. He was preparing me for this day.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Thanks To You



I did it! I was able to chance my 100 votes count. :)

Again, my deepest thanks to those who voted for me. Voting has not ended yet, it's still on-going (just visit PEBA). It doesn't matter if I get high votes. What matters to me is, I was able to step up and be counted on this year's PEBA. :)

It's an early Christmas gift and anniversary gift as well to have been part of it. :)
Again, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU especially to those who are campaigning for me. Maybe you thought I am not aware of it, but yes I am. I am humbled by the support you are giving me. It doesn't matter if I win or not, the fact that a lot of people have showed support to me through voting and commenting and liking is enough. Saying thank you for a couple of times won't tire me. :)

Also, how would I forget to say THANK YOU PEBA for counting me in. It is an honor to be part of this year's nominees. Whew! Continue the good work you have started. :)

GOD Bless you a hundred fold. :)



Monday, November 15, 2010

Suggestions Please...

In more than three weeks, A Dreamer's Avenue will be turning two years old!

I'm thinking of what to write, but apparently, I couldn't think of any yet, and so because of that, I am opening this page to solicit a topic for my second anniversary post.

Suggestions (and questions - I was thinking of a Q and A but I guess that won't work much) are so welcome. :)

God Bless Us All. :)




*****

Meanwhile, vote as you please, A Dreamer's Avenue: My Piece and Salutation on this year's PEBA-Philippine Based Finalists. VOTE HERE.

Also, I'd like to say thank you so much to those who voted already and even recommended my entry! Thanks much especially to those who I do not know. I really really appreciate your support. God Bless you guys. :)


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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.

Friday, November 5, 2010

In A Month

In less than two months, it's going to be Christmas time again. 
In a month, it's going to be A Dreamer's Avenue's second year!

Time flies really fast. Parang kailan lang, I started this blog as a way of pouring out my heartache. It has definitely gone a long way since the day I decided to make its debut in the world wide web. To this date, I am no longer running just a blog but more. Some of which I decided to keep its anonymity. 

Blogging has served me so much. It has been a venue where I could share my innermost thoughts on things I see and believe. It has been a way for my friends to keep updated of what's up with my life. It has served people who don't know me to at least have an idea of who the person behind this blog is.

For a couple of times, I thought of leaving this "avenue" especially when I finally had my domain. But for a certain reason, I just couldn't leave this. It has been a part of me that the thought of leaving it hurts. This blog is special to me for a lot of reasons, but perhaps the most of it is that this is a mirror of myself.

What you see and read is what you definitely will get. This is me. Its simplicity defines me. I am not saying that my other blogs don't, actually if you'll read my other blogs, you'll see my other sides as a person - because there are things I chose not to share here. This is just almost a half of who I am - at least for two years that it has been up. This has been long-running as compared to my other blogs. I guess that too is one reason why I just love this blog.

As I start counting down to my second year in this "avenue", and as I continue my so far five years of blogging, expect some changes in here. Changes not just on how it looks, but on how I deliver my thoughts.

I am just so excited for what is in store for me on my second year. So far, I am just so grateful because I know a lot of people have seen and appreciated this little blog of mine. I am grateful to those who continuously read my posts, and never fail to drop a comment even if I don't usually respond. :)

For now, I want to keep the excitement. For now, I'd want to enjoy the remaining days before this blog turns two years old on the 9th of December. 

*****

Meanwhile, as the excitement grows, please help me with this. Please vote A Dreamer's Avenue: My Piece and Salutation on this year's PEBA-Philippine Based Finalists. VOTE HERE.

Thank you so much! :)


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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Shameless Favor

I just thought, since I joined a contest, then might as well be serious with it (am i?).

Okay, for those who jumped into this site out of nowhere or perhaps those who have visited this for a couple of times, I would like to ask a favor from you. I do not know how to weigh it yet though. I mean, in a way it's a big favor perhaps because I will be asking a little of your time and effort.

Let me go straight to the point now. I would want to ask for your mercy (hahaha. seems like i'm begging here) to vote for my blog entry for this year's Pinoy Expats Blog Awards or better known as PEBA.

Just so you know, this is the very first time I've ever joined an online contest. I was just encouraged by a co-blogger, and I thought perhaps it won't hurt to give it a try. So here I am now, as part of joining the contest - I guess - I need to ask people to vote for my entry. But hey, no harm, that is if and only if you want to. :)

Anyway, so much with the intro. I said I'll get straight to the point already (hahaha). So here you go. Vote for my blog by clicking the link below:

http://www.pinoyexpatsblogawards.com/

The lists of nominees were posted at the left side of the web page (website). My entry was listed under 2010 PEBA SUPPORTER NOMINEES. I guess I was among the first ones to have submitted an entry. Not that I was so excited to join, I just thought then that it has been long running. :)

You can also cast your vote by simply commenting in my blog entry. The link's posted below (this post). :)

So there you go.

For those who have voted for me already, THANK YOU SO MUCH. :)

For those who will just vote, THANKS MUCH as well. :)

**It feels awkward that I'm doing this (hahaha). But then again, there's no harm in doing this, right? Thanks again blog buddies. :)


*EDITED ON 11-03-2010

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I am a PEBA Blog Awards' Nominee! View my entry, click the link below. :-)

My Piece and Salutation

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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Overwhelming with Appreciation




Aside from the note below my every post since I was nominated, I had no other means of spreading the word that I am a PEBA Supporter Nominee.

So seeing the numbers above just make me feel so overwhelmed. I am just so grateful to those people who casted their vote on me. I am happy and thankful to those - as of the moment - twenty-two bloggers who voted for my blog post.

Aside from those, I also am grateful to those who commented in my blog post. Thank you so much for the kind words. I was never the type who joins contests, so being this as my first time, I'd have to say, it's worth trying some other time again.

I am truly amazed with the growing number of page views in this blog site. It's not earning anything, I tell you. But having all those visitors from  all over the world because of my nomination is enough for me to keep this blog going.

Again, thank you for those who stumbled in my blogsite, voted, and commented. I'm happy to know that you liked my simple thoughts. :)

Really, I am just overwhelming with happiness and appreciation. :)




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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.
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I am a PEBA Blog Awards' Nominee! View my entry, click the link below. :-)

My Piece and Salutation

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Minsan Lang....

Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, sa salitang Pilipino ko piniling isulat ang bahaging ito.

Minsan, may mga bagay na hindi inaasahan. Mga bagay na kung pwede lang, sana hindi na naganap, sana hindi nalang dumating. Mapapaisip ka kung bakit, ngunit sa kabilang dako, mapagtatanto mong nangyari o dumating ang mga bagay dahil may rason. Minsan, mahirap ipaliwanag at intindihin, pero kailangan.

Ang bahaging ito ay inaalay ko sa isang kaibigan na alam kong sobra-sobra ang sakit at hinagpis ang nararamdaman ngayon. Sa parte ko, wala akong magawa. Malayo ako. Gusto ko man syang damayan sa kalungkutan na tinatamasa nya ngayon, tanging panalangin na lamang ang maipapaabot ko.
Sa tuwing naaalala ko ang mga nangyari, di ko maiwasan ang lumuha. Parte nito ay dahil di ko lubos maisip na sadyang darating sa puntong kailangang mangyari ang mga bagay-bagay. Nararamdaman ko ang hinagpis na nararamdaman ng kaibigan ko. Marahil dahil na din sa para na akong ampon ng pamilya nila. Sa halos lahat ng mahahalagang okasyon sa kanila, nandoon ako. Maliban lang ngayon. Maliban lang ngayon kung kelan mas higit nilang kailangan ang mga taong nagmamahal at sumusuporta sa kanila.

Malungkot ako, ngunit masaya na din. Maraming bagay ang nangyayari sa mundo ng hindi inaasahan. Madaming bagay ang nangyayari na hindi maipaliwanag. Isa lang ang alam ko, lahat yun may dahilan. Sa panahong itinakda, tiyak na malalaman din kung ano yon.

Gaano man kalungkot at kasakit ang mga pangyayari sa buhay natin, kailangang bumangon at magpatuloy. Gaano man kasakit ang pagkakadapa at ang dulot nitong mga sugat, naandyan ang tiwalalang, maghihilom din ito sa takdang panahon.

People come, people go as they say. But one thing's for sure, our God will always be on our side even in the most painful part of our lives' journey. :)

***

On the other side, while I was writing this entry, one of my closest friends texted, informing me her safe delivery to a baby boy. See how amazing God is? Can't wait to see her little angel soon. :)

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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.
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I am a PEBA Blog Awards' Nominee! View my entry, click the link below. :-)

My Piece and Salutation

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

It's Almost Over

Okay, it's not about people breaking up. After all, I have no one to break up with (hahaha).
I'm actually talking about school here. I don't know if I have mentioned in my past blogs that I have gone back to school. Not permanently though, just for two months.

We're actually on our mid before the finals. About three weeks more to go and we're done. Oh, I'll surely miss going to school, especially that I go there twice a week. I'll miss the hustle and bustle of going to school. We may have less assignments/requirements as a regular student, but still, I love the idea of being at school and dealing with professionals from prestigious companies in the country. I love the fact of being in a room with people who share the same passion as I am (passion of getting more knowledge than usual).

Anyways, like I've said, we're way in the middle of the school term. Almost done. But then again, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be sitting pretty already, because actually, the hustle and bustle have just started. I'm startled knowing that we have to pass an advocacy paper slash marketing paper as our final requirement. in just a short period of time! Now my head starts to ache big time! Nevertheless, I still love it! :)


By the way, I would want to share a first-time experience I've had lately. If you have time, you may read THIS.

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There's a lot more to share. Go visit the link below. :-)

PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.
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I am a PEBA Blog Awards' Nominee! View my entry, click the link below. :-)

My Piece and Salutation

Monday, August 23, 2010

102th Post

I missed my 100th post. The thought of writing something special as a theme for my 100th post vanished. It was only now that I realized, I missed counting my posts.

This is my 102th post. Honestly, I am now like facing a blank page, staring at it, doesn't know how to fill it up.

As I write this, I feel a little gloomy, I think the music I am listening to has something to do with it. Also, I feel groggy. I am quite sick, and yet instead of staying at home and resting to regain my strength, I opted to go to office. I thought of it a couple of times this morning though. I decided to just go on my daily routines instead of heading the other way because I couldn't bear staying at home anyway.

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This morning, I remember reading a friend's post, which was recommended by our common friend. As I read every word she wrote, every emotion there was as she was writing it, I couldn't help but fight hard my tears as my colleagues might think I'm not okay. Well, though I am really not okay, I'm still well. Contradicting? Never mind. As I was saying, I was touched. I felt how she felt after losing one of the most important people in her life, her dad.

Then here comes the thought. I am the type of person who other people think has a strong personality. Though I am admittedly a cry-baby, I still am a warrior in dealing with life. But I must admit, losing one member of the family could break my heart and soul terribly bad. Just a few weeks back, our family lost a good friend. She succumbed to death after fighting with the Big C. When I learned about the news, I honestly felt scared. Scared of the reality that perhaps one day, just like her, my own parents would pass.

I remember my father telling my brother that they too shall pass and that they won't be here for us all the time. Whenever that thought comes to mind, I always feel really scared. I honestly am not ready for that. Whenever I receive a call or text from home that tells me about my parents getting sick, I always end up worrying. Call me paranoid, but I guess it's all about knowing in yourself how much you love them and how unready you are for life's consequences.

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People close to me, or even a few who know me know that I am not pretty well as I look. I am not normal. Okay, let me rephrase that, I am normal but I have my share of abnormality. I have a lifetime sickness that makes me feel blessed instead of feeling bad about it.

When I first learned that I have a mitral valve prolapse about four to five years ago, I felt scared as I thought there'll be a need for me to change my lifestyle, or worst, to go through an operation. I felt bad - a little - because I thought that of all people, why someone like me who doesn't have any vice had to have this. I felt bad, I had my share of questioning, but at the end of the day, I realized how lucky I am to have this disease.

Call me weird for feeling blessed about it, but really, I am. I remember a priest once said that whenever you feel the weight of the earth, feel happy about it because you know you have a God who's so willing to back you up. A God that won't leave you behind. A great God who's always there for us.

Having this heart condition is not a joke. Imagine, I am prohibited to do things that might be a threat to my health. Things that I wish I have the capability to do, like climb a mountain, do extreme sports, and other physical stuff.

There was one incident that actually made me realize how serious my condition is. It was when a doctor told me that if my heart won't do well with all the medications I've had, I might end up going through an operation - a change of the affected valve, which really is scary on my part. I remember the doctor explaining things to me but I wasn't listening. I let my mom absorb all the information he was saying.

Oh, I remember the days when I had to go through series of tests: ECG, 2D Echo, chest X-ray, three different blood tests. I felt exhausted then, but in my mind, I was actually enjoying having to go through all that. Yes, I may be scared but I was okay with the whole thing. Hey, not all people have the chance to experience those, but I had.

Lately, I had my share of attacks. Of course, nobody knew about it. My heart ached - literally - once in awhile, but I opted not to give it much attention. For me, it's always all in the mind. If you'll think you're not okay, then your body will respond to that. So whenever it aches, I just tell myself. "Just don't mind." I am not scared of it anymore. I am actually so into it that going through the aches is normal.

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I know, after reading my post, you might be thinking that I am into a sort of emotional breakdown. Well,  not really, though yesterday, I cried for no reason, or maybe there was, I was just too preoccupied not to distinguish the main reason.

Anyway, I just keep reminding myself that whatever it is that's making me feel this way, it too shall pass. One day, things will be better. One day, God will unveil the goodness of this life I have. One day, I will be content with all the blessings I have and feel extremely happy.

I am happy now. I have received a lot of blessings. God showered me with a lot of blessings. He has always been good to me. I am happy. I am grateful. That's a genuine statement. :)

Oh, I just realized, I started this saying that I am staring at a blank page and doesn't know how to fill it up. Surprisingly, I did fill it up. :)


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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday

I passed by Greenhills last night and saw the construction of their famous belen. As the taxi traverse the road going to my place, seeing that scene made me realize that yes, it's Christmas season again, in days time.

Time flies so fast that sometimes we don't even know it's too late already. Too late for things that should've been done. Too late for words that should've been spoken. I myself is a victim of how time could steal those precious could have beens.

It's past half of the second half of the year, yet I still couldn't figure out what changes have been except the facts that I moved from one company to another, tried to start fulfilling something yet had to abandon it for awhile as I had to prioritize things, and what else? 

A lot of things happened, yet still, here I am, still have lots of questions left unanswered. That makes me wonder now, when will I get those answers? Should I wait until that day comes, or should I discover them myself?

Lately, I was trying to keep myself interested in a lot of things. Keeping myself busy with work and other things. But there were times I was caught in the middle of nowhere trying to figure out if these were really making my time worthwhile. 

No, I am not emo. I'm just trying to figure out something. I'm just unloading the queries deep in my brain and yes, deep in my heart. Nobody could answer them except myself. I know that for sure, and I am just so excited for that day. 

Another day is about to end. Funny how I wasn't able to feel that. Anyway, tonight I'm going to sleep, and perhaps wake up again tomorrow. Now I wonder, would tomorrow be the day I've been waiting for? I'll figure that out. :)



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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sometime, Somewhere, Someday

Lately, I engaged myself to tweeting. I was never interested to it but my best bud asked me to. So just for the sake of obeying her (kidding). Anyway, I am the type of person who sings what I feel. I mean, whenever I feel bad or good, or whenever I feel inspired or something pisses me off, I always end up singing what I feel or at the very least, listen to music that would help me balance my emotions. Okay, you get it. Of all the feelings I could feel, I sing most whenever I am inlove or yeah, sort of broken hearted (though I am single, weird? hahaha).

The catch is, I saw Christian B.'s tweet, and the moment I saw it, I knew the song he was pertaining to explains best my emotional state at the moment (kinda drama? hahaha). Really, I just thought the song is so fitted to me (is it? mmmm). So here, I just want to share the song, and maybe, from there, you would know where I am coming from (so cheesy, but not emo. hahaha).


SOMETIME, SOMEWHERE
by Ryan Cayabyab

We speak but the words we say mean nothing
We smile but the smiles we give are wanting
We look upon each other's eyes,
No spark, no glow, no real signs, but we both know
This is all for show

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We could show the world we have each other
Sometime, somewhere, we need not hide our feelings
We just keep on believing
That we both have the time together
Sometime and somewhere, our lips would be free at last
To say the words we've hungered to say
And we won't have to worry, we smile, we won't say sorry
One look and we have cast our fears aside

Sometime, that sometime we'll turn to forever for all time
Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place but everywhere

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We just have to be content with stealing glances
Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are always wanting
Though deep inside it hurts because we know that our love,
Like love is what it is, it's what we got
Our love, like love will have to wait until that sometime, somewhere


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Sunday, July 18, 2010

My Piece and Salutation

I have a lot to be thankful for. One of those is, I need not to go out of the country just so I could live a better life.  I have friends who grew up in the absence of one of their family members, while some of them are actually my friends themselves. Whenever I hear them saying how much they miss their absent mom, dad, sister or brother or their families, I couldn't just be thankful enough that no one in my immediate family has to leave, neither I.

Nonetheless, I cannot perfectly say that no one in my entire family is not working outside the country. I have cousins who, unfortunately, need to work abroad just so they could help sustain the needs of their families, and their personal needs as well.

Some of them are close to me. I could not trade to anything the joy of seeing them whenever they're home. Nothing beats the happiness of being with them and sharing the bond that we have. And then the thought would linger, how I wish they'd stay and not leave anymore.Yes, they are the new generations' heroes, but do they really have to leave just so they'd become heroes?

I believe that the government can only do so much to actually eradicate the emerging number of Filipinos working abroad looking for greener pasture. I do know it's not that easy, but it's never impossible. 

Personally, I would not want that the coming generations would just get used to having an absent mom or dad. A nightmare, that would be. I do not want to wake up one day realizing that most of my friends and family members are leaving this country because they are hopeless.

We say that the family is the basic unit of the society. But how would that be when most of our family members are leaving. How then can we have a good society when the best of the bests are not satisfied with what this country can give?

With all these, the Filipino families suffer most. Should we really need to allow this to happen? I do not want to. 

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To my friends and cousins abroad:

I salute you for your courage. I salute you for dreaming big not just for yourselves but most importantly, for your families. I salute you for conquering homesickness especially during the times when you have wanted to be by your family's side. I salute you for being there not because you want to but because you needed to. I salute you for being brave enough in facing the challenges of being away from home. 

You are an inspiration to me. I wish someday I won't just be saying these things here, but to you guys personally. :)

Most of you, I miss a lot. Everyday, I am looking forward to seeing you in the same land where I am now. :)

God bless.





Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My birthDAY is Over

Okay, after one year of waiting, I am finally, officially a year older. Nothing's new though, aside from the age, I still look the way I have always looked. :)

Anyway, I received a couple of surprises. I had fun before, during, and after my day. Let me share more on those occasions at   my sanctuary.

Just to give you an idea, a day before my day, my manager treated our team at Italianni's. It was actually a multiple celebration. Since part of it was my birthday celebration, I made wishes (a lot!:)) and blew my birthday candle. So thoughtful people. :)

During my day, half of it I was not okay, but my best friend's birthday treat (which was supposedly my treat) made me forget about that low moment. We headed to Kitchen of Cakes and Coffee and Coffee Bean. Truly, it was so memorable. A serene celebration that maybe only some would appreciate. It wasn't glamorous, but it was sweet and spontaneous. Oh, another dear friend of mine, surprised me with a birthday cake, and the people at the resto where best friend and I ate also surprised me. I just so love surprises! ")

A day after my birthday, with best friend again, we went to Green HALO in Cubao Expo. It amazes me to find new places that catches my interests. New places that maybe a lot of people have no knowledge on. Oh, how would I forget that my manager and our graphic artist gave gifts to me that same day. Really thoughtful and sweet people. :)

Anyway, I had fun. I really did. Just couldn't be thankful enough for all the thoughtfulness and sweetness these people have shown to me. 

By the way, to everyone who did not forget my day, a million thanks. For those who did, thanks for forgetting. :) I'm just so grateful. :)



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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Simple Things

Simple things make me happy.

Simple corny jokes make me laugh.

Simple efforts are appreciated.

Simple gestures make me smile.

Simple persons make me admire them all the more.

Simplicity.

I am just a simple person with simple dreams, simple happiness.

My day is coming in just a few days now.

My wish? All these simple things to remain as it is, for all these simple things make my life more meaningful and happier.

:)




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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Back On Track

It's been awhile. It was like I had a month of hiatus from the blogosphere, but I was able to blog hop once in a while though. Anyway, the month of May was like the turning point of my own universe. I think that sounds a little "eh?." Well, aside from the fact that we had the elections, which made me really nervous for quite sometime, there were a lot of decision-makings along the way.

You know what I learned? It's that, in everything that comes, at the end of the road, you always have to make a choice. You always have to gauge which thing do you really want or need. He won't give you everything, but you are assured of one thing, once He gives you something, it's always the best. :)

Maybe some other time I'll take time to share. But for now, I guess I have to envy you with one of the best things I had this summer. Read it HERE. :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

After All: Election 2010



This is the moment that we have been waiting for. After three long months, we have finally come to the end. Three months of getting to know the candidates, one day of (formally) deciding who will earn our precious votes.

Before anything else though, allow me to say my piece.

As what the Catholic Church teaching says, VOTE ACCORDING TO YOUR CONSCIENCE. This for me is the best tool so we could choose the right candidates. Our conscience, I believe, will always bring us to what is right.

Money is a great temptation. When really tempted, receive it, but still vote the one who deserves your vote. DO NOT SELL YOUR VOTES. Filipinos are educated and smart people. Do not allow money to ruin it.

Let us all BE OBSERVANT. When crisis arises, do not just keep your silence. When you see people doing illegalities, speak up. Go to proper authorities and report whatever you have seen or heard. It is the perfect time to care for your votes, to care for the good of everybody.

As for politicos.

I will salute those who won't use 3Gs: Golds, Goons, and Guns. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE. Start the change that you have been preaching all throughout your campaigns now. DO NOT THREATEN people just so their votes will be casted for your own benefit.

We know how much money you have. We know a lot of you have the capability to buy votes. But please, STOP VOTE BUYING.

Since you have started the game, you know that two ways are waiting for you on the finish line. It's either you win or lose. If you happen to be on the latter, ACCEPT YOUR DEFEAT. Show your sportsmanship and just move on. It will be best though if you will support the ones who win.

As for those who will win, prove to us that PROMISES AREN'T MADE TO BE BROKEN. Make sure that once you are seated at whatever position you will land, you do your job for the greater good and not for personal gain.

May 10, 2010 is a date to remember. We've waited for six long years. Do not let this chance pass by. Go and vote for a leader that has the values this nation needs. A leader that has dreams for this country. A leader that won't just lead, but knows how to follow as well.

As the song goes, "We're all in this together." No one's going to care for this nation but us. No one's going to love this nation but us. So let our votes and voices be counted.

God bless us.

GOD BLESS OUR NATION. :)






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Saturday, May 8, 2010

Before Anything Else

I know everyone's so excited for Monday, but hey guys, let us not forget that . . .


. . .  It's moms' day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in the world. :-p

I have alloted a special blog post for my own mom.

Read it HERE.



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Monday, May 3, 2010

Just Before Monday

It’s exactly seven days to go before the 2010 national elections. Most probably most of us are excited on what’s going to happen on that day and the days after. This is the first time that we are on automated elections. So expect both the best and the worst from it.

Just awhile ago, I was watching the news, and it scares me that there are some troubles going on with regards to the PCOS machines, which will count our votes come May 10. According to the news, based on the mock election held today on different venues, some machines did not count or recognize the votes specifically on the municipal levels.

The COMELEC and the Smartmatic said that they are going to give attention to these issues. Probably they said, the paper used for the sample PCOS counting was the one to be blamed. Whatever the reason is behind the failure of the machine to count votes, it is still scary.

I do not want to pre-empt what’s going to happen on May 10, but let’s face it. What if all the other machines have the same problem? Does this mean, the probability of declaring Failure of Election is high? The time is short. Manual counting could be on the rescue, but like what I have said, we have too little time.

This is going to be my second time to vote. First time though on the national level. Just like everyone else, I do not want my vote to be put to waste. This election is not just a hot one but definitely a record breaking history. Let it not be a history of failure though, but a history of success.

God bless this nation, and may we all be guided by the Holy Spirit so we’d vote wisely and according to our conscience and not anything else.



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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

One Last Time

I am not good at saying goodbye. I never even wanted to hear it, so why would I be good at saying it, right? But I guess it’s one of life’s challenges. You know, every beginning surely has an ending. So I guess, no matter how you escape from saying it, there would come a time that you have no choice but say goodbye.

For the past few weeks, I had my share of goodbyes. It wasn’t easy but I had to. Before going any further, let me just say this, “I realized that goodbyes come when you least expect it.  Moreover, you have to say it to people you never thought you’ll be saying it to.”

You know what’s more painful? It is when you have to say goodbye to something or someone that or who means a lot to you. It is more painful when you are left with no choice but say goodbye. It is more painful when you don’t want to but you just really need to.

For the past weeks, I bid goodbye to people and things that mean a lot to me. People and things that I thought I would never have to lose. But like I’ve said, I was left with no other choice. By the way, among the two, saying goodbye to people was a lot harder and painful than saying bye to the latter.  

Anyway, though there’s the sad and painful part, I realized saying goodbye has its good side as well. I realized that saying goodbye could mean being a brave one. It never was a sign of being coward, but of being courageous actually. I also realized that being able to say goodbye is a blessing.

The word goodbye may have its negative connotation, but you know what? It also has its positive implications in someone’s life. So do not be scared by it. It’s an essential part of our lives. Our lives won’t be complete if we do not say goodbye for even just once in our lifetime (which is impossible of course because you’d have to say it a lot of times). Before I forget, saying goodbye is not a one-way-street, so expect that someone would say goodbye to you as well.

-This post goes to people and things I am saying or have said my goodbyes, and to people who did the same to me. Remember, life is vice-versa. It may be goodbyes for now, but tomorrow it would be hellos for sure. :-)



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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Am Grateful


I have a lot of things to be thankful for. God blessed me so much that some of those I don’t even feel I deserve. Many times I thought life is meaningless because I based its meaning to someone or something else. I forgot that life’s meaning is He. It’s all because and should be for Him.

For the many times I felt weary with what’s going on with my life, I realized it’s not even half of what others are going through. I realized not even a quarter of other people’s hardships. I realized I am so much blessed. The mere fact that I am who and what I am is more than a blessing.

God sometimes puts us in situations that we thought we can’t handle. But the saying is right, He won’t place you in a certain situation if you can’t handle it. As for me, He put me in different circumstances not to weaken me but to mold me to become better and stronger.

God allowed hurts to come my way. God allowed failures and rejection not to make me worst but so I can be the person that is in accordance to His likeness. A couple of times I questioned God. A couple of times I fell in different traps of life. A couple of times I’ve almost given up, only to realize that I kept on looking at my failures and struggles instead of looking at the many blessings God have given me.

He has given me twenty-two years already, yet I believe I still have a lot to learn. Emotionally, I still have to work on it. I know God is shaping me to become courageous and strong so I could handle even the toughest quest life can offer. I know that with all that I am going through right now, it’s only God’s way of molding me to become the daughter He wants me to be.

I haven’t reached even half of God’s plans for me. I know there’s a lot more to come. I know He has in stored a lot more tests for me, which means , now is not yet time to give up the fight. More than these, I know as well that God has in stored a lot more blessings for me. I know He has a lot more to give.

Lately, when I read the scriptures, the message is monotonous. It says that I need to be patient. With everything that I am going through right now, I guess patience is really what I need. God kept on telling me that these past few days. I guess I have been so impatient these days. I kept nagging at Him when after all, it is only He who knows when’s the right time for everything and what is really right for me.

Of all these days, I can say I am now ready. Ready to be patient, ready for the unleashing of God’s plans for me. I am so optimistic that one of these days, God will reveal His plans for me. I am positive that it is more than what I am asking for.

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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

When (supposedly) It's Time to Repent

This is just going to be a short post.

I am just wondering why it seems like people (referring to Roman Catholics most especially) nowadays spend the Lent Season not to neither repent nor reflect but to go on a vacation somewhere else and have fun!

I just feel bad that we tend to forget the true meaning of Lent. I feel bad because it's like a foresight of the future. Maybe ten or twenty years from now, the new generation might consider Holy Week not as holy but a week of enjoying the beach or going places for a vacation and not bothering the season of Lent at all.

I am not against those who take this as an opportunity to relax, but I do hope, that as they enjoy the atmosphere at the beach or elsewhere, they too would think about why we have this season in our calendars. Meaning, may we not forget that it's actually a time for Him. A time to think about our relationship with Him. Most especially, to remember and really put in our hearts that once, Jesus came and saved us from our sins.

That's all.

GOD bless everyone. :)







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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Local Campaign: It Only Just Begun

As expected, 26th of this month marked as the start of the local campaign period. If the national level seem to be full of dramas and yes, noise, the local campaigns have that as well. Actually, they've a lot more than what the national has.

Fortunately, I am home right now. Which means that I saw how the campaign at my place started. Unlike in the metro, I think the campaign here at the province is funnier than what the city candidates can offer.

Yup, I used the word, FUNNY. It's funny because of the word wars among the candidates. Funny because of their campaign jinggles. Funny because you'll hear them speak and then realize at the end that what they're saying are just full of nonsense.

More than the fun though, there's the scary part. The Philippine election is really hot. Actually, I couldn't understand why there are people who use force just so they'll be in the position they're aiming for. (This is a general statement.)

Anyway, as the election campaign starts, I hope that there would be lesser harm. I hope that people will vote not based on the dramas and promises and money these politicians are doing, saying, and giving but that because of the qualifications of these candidates. 

I believe our voters are wiser now, I hope they really are.

To the politicians, I hope everything won't just be promises. I hope you let the people decide who they want to vote and not force them to vote for you just because. I hope, just like the voters, you too have changed already.

GOD Bless.


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