Tuesday, April 27, 2010

One Last Time

I am not good at saying goodbye. I never even wanted to hear it, so why would I be good at saying it, right? But I guess it’s one of life’s challenges. You know, every beginning surely has an ending. So I guess, no matter how you escape from saying it, there would come a time that you have no choice but say goodbye.

For the past few weeks, I had my share of goodbyes. It wasn’t easy but I had to. Before going any further, let me just say this, “I realized that goodbyes come when you least expect it.  Moreover, you have to say it to people you never thought you’ll be saying it to.”

You know what’s more painful? It is when you have to say goodbye to something or someone that or who means a lot to you. It is more painful when you are left with no choice but say goodbye. It is more painful when you don’t want to but you just really need to.

For the past weeks, I bid goodbye to people and things that mean a lot to me. People and things that I thought I would never have to lose. But like I’ve said, I was left with no other choice. By the way, among the two, saying goodbye to people was a lot harder and painful than saying bye to the latter.  

Anyway, though there’s the sad and painful part, I realized saying goodbye has its good side as well. I realized that saying goodbye could mean being a brave one. It never was a sign of being coward, but of being courageous actually. I also realized that being able to say goodbye is a blessing.

The word goodbye may have its negative connotation, but you know what? It also has its positive implications in someone’s life. So do not be scared by it. It’s an essential part of our lives. Our lives won’t be complete if we do not say goodbye for even just once in our lifetime (which is impossible of course because you’d have to say it a lot of times). Before I forget, saying goodbye is not a one-way-street, so expect that someone would say goodbye to you as well.

-This post goes to people and things I am saying or have said my goodbyes, and to people who did the same to me. Remember, life is vice-versa. It may be goodbyes for now, but tomorrow it would be hellos for sure. :-)



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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Am Grateful


I have a lot of things to be thankful for. God blessed me so much that some of those I don’t even feel I deserve. Many times I thought life is meaningless because I based its meaning to someone or something else. I forgot that life’s meaning is He. It’s all because and should be for Him.

For the many times I felt weary with what’s going on with my life, I realized it’s not even half of what others are going through. I realized not even a quarter of other people’s hardships. I realized I am so much blessed. The mere fact that I am who and what I am is more than a blessing.

God sometimes puts us in situations that we thought we can’t handle. But the saying is right, He won’t place you in a certain situation if you can’t handle it. As for me, He put me in different circumstances not to weaken me but to mold me to become better and stronger.

God allowed hurts to come my way. God allowed failures and rejection not to make me worst but so I can be the person that is in accordance to His likeness. A couple of times I questioned God. A couple of times I fell in different traps of life. A couple of times I’ve almost given up, only to realize that I kept on looking at my failures and struggles instead of looking at the many blessings God have given me.

He has given me twenty-two years already, yet I believe I still have a lot to learn. Emotionally, I still have to work on it. I know God is shaping me to become courageous and strong so I could handle even the toughest quest life can offer. I know that with all that I am going through right now, it’s only God’s way of molding me to become the daughter He wants me to be.

I haven’t reached even half of God’s plans for me. I know there’s a lot more to come. I know He has in stored a lot more tests for me, which means , now is not yet time to give up the fight. More than these, I know as well that God has in stored a lot more blessings for me. I know He has a lot more to give.

Lately, when I read the scriptures, the message is monotonous. It says that I need to be patient. With everything that I am going through right now, I guess patience is really what I need. God kept on telling me that these past few days. I guess I have been so impatient these days. I kept nagging at Him when after all, it is only He who knows when’s the right time for everything and what is really right for me.

Of all these days, I can say I am now ready. Ready to be patient, ready for the unleashing of God’s plans for me. I am so optimistic that one of these days, God will reveal His plans for me. I am positive that it is more than what I am asking for.

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PAMELA'S SANCTUARY: Unleashing the adventures of my life.