Friday, January 28, 2011

The Blessing Called Life

God has been so gracious to me. Of all the things that happened and are still happening, I could feel how God continuously blesses me.

Days ago, I had to visit my cardiologist. Yes, I have a heart ailment that needs to be treated. Though I am in such condition, living a normal life has never been a problem to me. Sometimes people around me would tell me not to do this and that just because they thought I couldn't. Actually, I hate to be treated that way. I know they're just concerned, but sometimes it makes me feel bad even more.

Anyway, going back to my story. During my first visit, I had to be given medicines so my tonsillitis and cough be treated. Having cough is okay, but having tonsillitis is not as it may lead my condition to worsen. Wait! Let me just say this, I am not dying. :)

The doctor asked me to have a series of blood tests just to be sure that I'm well. So after I have taken those, I went back to him. There I felt how God worked in my life. I felt so good hearing the good news that I am still in my same old condition and that it did not worsen. Prayers and faith can only do so much. :)

They say, the more faithful you become, the more struggles you need to face so your faith would be tested. I could attest to that. I had been through a few tough times, but my faith has been intact and it never failed on me. Instead, I have become more faithful in every trial that comes my way.

People complain for a lot of things. I used to be one of them but today, I now can tell that there is no reason to complain at all, because there's a reason why you need to go through that certain point in your life. When I learned about having an abnormal heart, I never asked God why . Instead, I thanked the Lord. I considered it a blessing because only a few people have the chance to experience such thing. Also, I considered it a blessing as it brought me closer to my God. 

Everyday I thank the Lord for waking me up. Everyday I thank the Lord for allowing me to experience the joys of life. Everyday I thank the Lord for all the trials and blessings that come my way. 

I shared this story because I know God wants me to. When you think God has been a bad God to you, I say,  try to look at the things around you. There you will see the goodness of Him. He may not answer your prayers right away, but trust that He will on the right time. :)

God bless everyone! Enjoy the life you have and do not let bad things bring you apart from our God. :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Time Heals

Let me say this straight once and for all. I am deeply hurt. I don't know why some people couldn't be sensitive enough of other people's feelings. I have been hiding the hurt. I did my best to keep the pain locked inside me. I tried my best not to admit that I am actually hurting. But what else can I do? Sometimes, you just need to be honest - at least to yourself, right?

I was thinking whether to say my piece or just let it pass. Let time heal the wound and just shut up. But I also understand that there are circumstances in life wherein you need to let it all out. After all, it's unhealthy to keep all the pain inside. It's not good once it explodes.You sure won't like it.

For privacy reasons, I am not going to tell all. The story behind why I am hurting is just between me and myself. I hate to feel the way I'm feeling now. I feel so numb that I couldn't even shed a tear. I feel so numb that I couldn't pour out the right emotion. I hate to feel this. I really do.

At some point in our lives, we are capable to hurt someone without intending to do so. I understand that because I myself is guilty of such crime. I try to understand every time, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It feels bad when the person knows what you truly are feeling before the hurt has done. It feels bad when you suddenly realize that the thing you tried to fought for was just wasted in a snap.

I wish I could tell the whole story. I wish I could, but I couldn't. I don't want to create neither a buzz nor a scene. Admitting that I am hurting is enough. It somehow feels better. 

In time, everything will be put to its right places. In time, the wound will heal, but sadly the scar will be there for the rest of my life. In time. I just need time. One day, I will be capable to give what I do not have now. That is, to be truly happy for the other person.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


About seven years ago, there was a girl who sat beside me on my first class on the first day of my college life. When I first saw her, I thought she was “maarte” and a probable bad influence. Oh, how can I forget, she asked for a piece of paper during that time. Imagine someone going to school without a piece of paper with her – on the first day of school. Hilarious!

Fast forward. Seven years after, I am with the same girl, but with a totally different impression about her. The girl I thought was a bad influence became my best friend. She’s actually more than that to me, because she is a sister. She’s my sister by heart.

If there is one person who knows me well, that would be Med. We’ve been together during the lowest and highest points of our lives. We’ve shared a couple of good and bad. We shared laughter and tears (though I honestly couldn’t remember a time that Med cried).

Melody is a woman by all means. She is tough, yet she has a soft heart. She is driven and passionate. She has a strong faith in God – the reason why she can handle all her struggles in life. She may be late (in almost) every time, but she would always make time for you especially when she knows she’s needed.

Med is a dreamer too. As I am the backpacker, she’s the nomad. She loves to paint, but could hardly find an inspiration to do her passion. She may be workaholic, but she still knows when and how to play and enjoy life.

I am blessed to have this woman in my life. God has been so gracious that He gave me a best friend who could be my source of strength, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, my listener, my counselor, my sister.  The past seven years of friendship we’ve had is really one of the bests.

Melody, happy birthday dear best friend! I know there’s going to be a lot more years of friendship for both of us to share – and I am thankful. I thank you for being the person that you are, and for just being there every time.

Today, as you start a new year to enjoy the goodness of life, all I have is a prayer that may the good Lord make all your dreams come true (I know you have a lot) – you deserve them. I know you have a good heart, so rest-assured that God is preparing the bests for you.

Cheers for the gift of life.

Cheers for the friendship that we have.

Cheers to all the blessings that are coming your way.

Again, happy 24th birthday Melody! God bless. :)

(I am actually on a hiatus from blogging, but I thought this has to be posted. :D Anyone who wants to, can greet my best friend. :D) 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

2011: May All Your Dreams Come True

Perhaps a lot of people are done with their new year's resolutions by now. As for me, I am not a fan of doing resolutions. For me, you can change anytime. You don't need to wait until new year just for you to change a bad habit or personal perspectives. 

Instead of resolutions, what I usually do is list down a couple of things I would want to do or have for that particular year. I list them down so at the end of the year, I'd have something to assess if I was able to achieve what I've listed.

For this year, I am not done with my list yet. I thought of 40 things to do and acquire, but I'm just more than a half of my prospected list. Maybe in the following days, I'd be able to complete it.

Anyway, to those who have their resolutions already or just like me, have their list of things you wish to do for this year, I wish you good luck. May it all happen. 

Have a good year everyone. I'll be gone from blogging for awhile, but will be back soon. :)

By the way, thank you to all of you who greeted me during the holidays. I appreciate it so much. God bless us all. :)