Let me say this straight once and for all. I am deeply hurt. I don't know why some people couldn't be sensitive enough of other people's feelings. I have been hiding the hurt. I did my best to keep the pain locked inside me. I tried my best not to admit that I am actually hurting. But what else can I do? Sometimes, you just need to be honest - at least to yourself, right?
I was thinking whether to say my piece or just let it pass. Let time heal the wound and just shut up. But I also understand that there are circumstances in life wherein you need to let it all out. After all, it's unhealthy to keep all the pain inside. It's not good once it explodes.You sure won't like it.
For privacy reasons, I am not going to tell all. The story behind why I am hurting is just between me and myself. I hate to feel the way I'm feeling now. I feel so numb that I couldn't even shed a tear. I feel so numb that I couldn't pour out the right emotion. I hate to feel this. I really do.
At some point in our lives, we are capable to hurt someone without intending to do so. I understand that because I myself is guilty of such crime. I try to understand every time, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It feels bad when the person knows what you truly are feeling before the hurt has done. It feels bad when you suddenly realize that the thing you tried to fought for was just wasted in a snap.
I wish I could tell the whole story. I wish I could, but I couldn't. I don't want to create neither a buzz nor a scene. Admitting that I am hurting is enough. It somehow feels better.
In time, everything will be put to its right places. In time, the wound will heal, but sadly the scar will be there for the rest of my life. In time. I just need time. One day, I will be capable to give what I do not have now. That is, to be truly happy for the other person.