Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Other Night, I Cried

Okay, I know I shouldn't or should I say, I know I should have not shed tears. But what can I do? I just can't hold back the tears. Well, maybe I just needed to let it out or it might explode. Anyway, you might ask me why I cried. Uh-oh, I do not mean to say it here. It was more of a personal reason.

Anyway, here's the catch, I think sometimes it's really hard to keep your feelings aside. I mean, yes you could portray a better and tougher self in front of other people, but when it's just you and yourself, you'll be surprised knowing that you just can't lie to yourself. You know yourself more than those people surrounding you.

I do not want to sound "kawawa" here 'cause I know I'm not. It's just that I wanted to share my realizations the other night. Another thing, this I can share to you. I was thinking about January the other night. Remember my post regarding work? I told you I'll share my decision when it comes. And yeah, it finally came. I have decided to leave by January. Honestly, I do not know if my decision is right. What I know is, I want to leave. My current work has been a part of my ups and downs during this whole year. It's like, leaving my work would mean moving on from what 2009 has brought me, at the same time, leaving all the memories behind.

My work is one of the witnesses on how I cried hard and how I managed to get up during the trying times. My work gave me a space during the times I needed something to put my attention to and be busied of. My work became my partner during the desperate times in my life that took place this year.

And so as the year comes to an end, I had to make an important decision. That is, I will be leaving my current work no matter how hard it may seem because of the people I will leave behind. I will leave without a concrete plan ahead. Yeah, I do not have plans on what I am going to do after the resignation. What I only have now is the decision of ending my stay in that company.

The other night, I prayed hard that God will continue to lead me to the right way. I prayed that He gives me wisdom so I would be able to make right decisions. I do not know yet if this is right. What I am sure of though is that this will make me really start a brand new life as a brand new year comes. And yeah, it would make me happy.


Making decisions are hard, choosing which to do is hard, but at the end of the day, you have to think of, "Is it going to make you happy and be at peace?"


Alkapon said...

think it 10 times before you have to decide.. ask for sign prior to your final decision.

Rcyan M. said...

that's a hard decision to make. think about it carefully. decide if your are working because of the pleasure you receive from your work or you are just there in order to have a good compensation.

thanks for dropping by my site. it's really good to see new faces coming across my personal lair.

thank you very much. i'll follow your blog. =)

Random Student said...

Hmmm, transitions and decisions. Every time you engage yourself in some of those you either become mature or something else (more confused). The one thing you can't do is to be idle. To postpone. You can only be oblivious of the minor details that stress you about your current situation, but you need this transition now to optimize the maturity that you can get now. Not the next time. Otherwise you have nothing to look back by that time to draw strength from. This brings me to ask you: What past event in your life can you use to pivot yourself in your present scenario?