Thursday, November 19, 2009

Home Alone No More

For almost three weeks I was alone at home. Independence. Freedom. Serenity. Peace. Joy. Sorrow. Longing. What else? These are just some of the emotions I've had during that almost three weeks of being alone in a two-storey apartment.

It was awesome! I wish it did last, but come reality, my eldest brother is back (so are my wild emotions are :p). Anyway, I love the feeling of just being alone. I mean, you know, you have no one to think of (if the person have eaten or not, or if he's there watching 24/7, etc), you have nothing or no one to worry about, no one brings out your bad moods, you're not pissed, you eat whatever and whenever you want to. Those are just some of the great privileges of being alone, living alone.

Surprisingly, I thought since I am just alone at home, I would ask friends to come over my place or perhaps spend the night away (oh gimmicks and other getaways). That was not the case though, it was actually just this weekend that I had my friend sleep over at my place. I was so into the feeling of independence that I did not even thought of inviting friends over (oh, I remember, I actually asked three of my girl friends to sleep over but they weren't free) and you know, have some party on the side.

It was then that I realized that being alone doesn't necessarily mean being wild. You may have that privilege but being responsible is what really rules more. I'm surprised really. All my speculations of being alone and having total freedom were all wrong.

That almost three weeks of being alone transformed me into becoming more responsible not just for the house, but all the more for myself. Of course, no one would take care of me but me alone. Uh-oh, I tell you, I was a bit scared of ghosts but just for sometime (hahaha). I got over it easily. Mind over matter did work for me I guess, or should I say, "it's all in the mind"  is really true.

Anyway, if there's one thing that scared me then, that's being heart attacked inside my room and no one would care. Okay, a brief info, I have a heart failure and for the past days or weeks I guess, my heart was on it's irregular mode. I was scared enough not to even tell my parents about it (hahahaha). Well, I don't want them to worry much. After all, I want to let them see that I can be responsible for myself even if no one's around.

Oh, let me just share, my brother left on November 2, which happened to be All Soul's Day. My mom, my other elder brother, and my sister (who's living in Cavite), were scaring me. They were telling me that someone's gonna visit me. Oh well, that didn't work. I conquered that fear.

Oh, and speaking of fear, I conquered my fear of being left alone, of living alone. I am just so proud of myself! :)

Anyway, I am just so thankful for the whole experience. I am so happy that I was able to surpass it. I wish one day, it's gonna be for real. I will leave alone, all by myself, nothing to worry about before and after the day. The feeling is just indescribable.


Freedom doesn't necessarily mean you have all the benifits of getting wild. It's actually just a tool for you to become a more responsible individual.


fjordz said...

tapos na ako sa stage na yan.. kaya nga sawa na akong maging independent eh. buti na nga lang eh maaga kong naexperience yun.. at least, may time pa akong ienjoy ulit ang pagiging dependent...

Alkapon said...

lumaki akong independent at istokwa.

Laboyboy said...

hello po! ako po ay bago dito sa blogosperyo at ambition ko po na lumibot sa buong pilipinas. ako po si laboyboy, ang batang gala, hehe. mabuhay po kayo. sana po bisitahin nyo rin ang bahay ko. salamat po.

Random Student said...

hehe friend nga lang ba, pam? haha. seriously oo masarap ang independence. before we even take on the family life of our own, i always think na dapat may single life tayo. and not just the kind of single life na naka depend pa rin sa immediate family natin. i've experienced that when i rented my own condo unit for some time. the best time for me was every time may storm, i'd just sip coffee by the unit's wall-size glass window. walang nanay na nagsasabing tumabi ka at baka tamaan ka ng kidlat.

The Pope said...

I admire your courage that you overcome your fear and enjoyed the independent stage of being left "hone alone".

Happy weekend.

Pamie said...

@fjordz: yeah, it's nice to experience both, natututo kasi tayo. :)

@alkapon: wow. wala akong masabi.:)

@laboyboy: welcome sa mundo ng makukulit pero may sense. :) visit ka lang. one of these days i'll visit your site as well.

@randomstudent: oo, friend lang. :) masaya talaga yung you know na you are just responsible sa sarili mo. :)

@pope: thanks po. :) salamat din sa pagbisita. :)

UPDATE: still alone at home. di natuloy ang bro ko pagbalik. but my parents are coming tomorrow in God's will. :)

Laboyboy said...

maraming salamat po sa pagbisita nyo sa blog ko. hehe. exchange link po tayo ha...