As of this writing, papa is confined, my two siblings and two nephews are sick, and I am infected with cough and colds. What more can I say? Trials do come, in our case, it did come one time, big time.
Yesterday, I was just sitting inside the salon where my best friend was having her hair colored. I was just sitting until I checked my phone and saw 5 messages and a miscall. I thought nothing until I read the messages. It was my mama, two ates, kuya and my younger sister who texted me informing that papa is in the hospital. No, not having a check-up, but was confined.
I was shocked, my knees began to shake. I cannot deny, I was scared. This was the first time - at least the first time that we knew he was confined. Just before yesterday, they just left Manila after they joined me for my birthday. So I, who at that moment was still on "birthday mode" was really in denial that after a great birthday week, sad news such as this would come.
No, I did not cry. I told myself not to. I was even telling myself to not panic and take it easy as everything will be okay. But then, no matter how much you try to hide the feeling of uncertainties, and to not feel worried about how things are going, you will just end up feeling just the same. I mean, sometimes, you just really have no control.
To be honest, I was really scared. I am someone who hates hospitals. Though I do go to hospitals due to check-ups, I still hate being there. It's as if, the end is there. I don't know. But much more, I hate getting news that people were rushed. In this case, I so hated the news that papa was rushed, and worst, was confined.
At the moment, I know he's getting well. But it cannot be taken from me to still worry. Not just for papa, but for mama and my loved ones who are sick - the babies most especially. I worry because it is during these times that I know we need one another and yet, I for instance, is far from them. I cannot deny that I feel guilty of not being there. I feel sad being far from home, and just depend on getting updates through texts and calls.
Amidst all these though, I am reminded of one thing, that it is during these times when you will realize the value of the people you love - family. It as well reminded me that during these times when I am far from home, I have a big God taking care of them.
At this point, I think of it as just another trial that will make our family tighter and stronger. This made me realize that life is indeed unpredictable. At some point everything seems okay, and next thing you know, you are bombarded with trials and tests.
This incident made me feel God's assuring presence once more. I felt His reassuring words whispered in my ears. I felt his warm embrace. I believe this too shall pass just like then. This too will end and as it ends, we have a lesson to carry with us as we continue our family's journey.
To those who will get to read this, please include my family in your prayers, and all other families who, just like us, are in the midst of a big trial in their lives.
Our family has gone through big waves in the past, that is why I am optimistic that just like any wave, it will end too.