Dream On

The scene: I was lying in my younger sister's lap while our mom was on her side, when I suddenly remembered about my birthday.

Jokingly I uttered, "Ay, I'm turning 24 na pala. Hmm... So pwede na akong magpakasal kahit walang parents' permission. Diba Ma?"

With a little sarcasm, my sister replied, "Maghanap ka muna ng boyfriend."

That made me laugh, BUT with a little 'ouch' on the side.

I am officially part of those of legal age to marry. Looking back, my sister got married when she was 24, and I think my parents too. Looking back, my other sister had one of her relationships when she was my age. And me? That, I need to figure out, at least in the next twelve months.

But aside from the thought of marriage, which I have to say is way far from my priorities right now, there's one more thing that makes me feel ecstatic about turning 24. Yes, I may look like a 16-year-older, but I am actually this old now. Kidding.

Anyway, people say that when you turn 24, it's when you finally get rid of your childish or child-like ways, as you are now expected to be matured and that you could now handle life's uncertainties. You are expected to have a life of direction, which means you are expected to be more responsible with your actions and decisions. You are expected to start taking life really serious. That's it.

Now that made me wonder, am I ready to take life seriously? Am I ready with the resposibilities of being my age? Am I ready to put myself away from my childish and child-like ways? Am I ready to face greater challenges in life? Am I ready to be a good decision-maker? Am I ready to head a life of maturity?

I remember, when I was younger - oh yeah, I'm still young - when someone would ask me how do I see myself ten years from then, I would most probably answer this way, "Ten years from now, I will be successful. I will bring my parents wherever they would want to go. I will start building the house they deserve. I will help send my younger sisters to school. I will help my siblings."

Looking at how dreamy I was then, it made me wonder how many of these dreams have come true so far? Sadly, I think not even one. But no, I am not frustrated. You know why? It's easy to dream especially when you are a kid. It's easy to run your imagination of how things would be when you get older. But in reality, it's hard to work for your dreams. I think it's just about facing the reality that it's not easy when you are in the 'world' already.

Where am I in my life now? I am not lost, that I am sure of. I still dream the same things. I still would want to send my parents to places they would want to go. I still dream of helping them in whatever ways I can. I still hold on to those dreams I've had when I was a kid. I guess, what makes now different from then is, today, I am working on it and working on it is not easy.

Making your dreams come true is not as easy as you could ever imagine. You need to really work hard for it. When I graduated from college, I thought I'm way closer to making my dreams real, but I was proven wrong. I realized, what I have pictured about life after school is not that after all. I thought life would be easier when you've earned your degree. I thought life would be cool because I would now be earning money. But I was proven really wrong, which makes my journey to my dreams a little bit more harder.

At some point, I felt disappointed with the turning of events in my life, but I guess, my faith saved me. Faith not just in myself or to the dream I built when I was a kid, but faith that I know my big God is just there to help me realize all my heart's desires, my dreams.

My dreams remain the same, except for one. That is, in time, maybe not when I am 24, but when He knows I'm ready, I will have a family I would call my own. Okay, wait, just before that, I will need to find that one lucky person first, and before him, I need to make at least one of my childhood dreams come true or if possible, all of them.

In our lives, we are bound to dream, and make those real. After all, what's the sense of dreaming if you'll keep it as it is, right? Realizing your dream may take time - which is absolutely true, unles you're born with a golden spoon, but later on, when you've finally conquered all the odds towards that dream, you'll just be amazed and you'll suddenly forget all the hardships you needed to surpass along the way.

I am still on my way towards realizing my dreams, one by one. As I traverse the road towards them, I am optimistic that no matter what happens along the way, no matter how rough the road will be, I know I can do it. I can do it by not just relying on my own strength, but having faith that I have a God to give me just enough until those dreams will no longer be dreams.

Going back to the scene I've mentioned earlier, my sister made sense, right? Before one could marry, he has to find his match first. Just like in dreams, before you make those real, you need to work on it.

Keep dreaming, and make them real! :)

:)

On Board (Again)

At one point in our lives, we will question the things that are happening. We ask not because we doubt, but because we just need the answer. At one point in my life, I asked. No, I did not doubt. It was more of being curious on why things have to happen.

For most, it takes a lot of time before answers were given. As with me, it took about five months before I finally got them. I was truly satisfied with the answers. I felt like, it was really all worth the wait. Five months is five months. But that do not matter because what matters is the answer given to me.

A lot of things happened during the time I was away, and sacrificed blogging. The supposedly forty days turned out to be more than forty days. I did not intend to take long, it just happened. God was just so good in giving me a lot of blessings, which made me preoccupied for the last couple of days.

Before I had my Lenten hiatus, I was jobless. At least no regular office job, because He granted me with freelance work over the time I was looking for one. Before I signed off for awhile, I was just hanging around anywhere just to kill time and make me not notice the day. That was before. Today, exactly during the Holy Week, He gave me the job I believe that is intended for me.

It’s not a glamorous job.  Definitely not the Devil Wears Prada type. But, I believe I am working with such a great bunch of people. So far, so good. I know it will be carried over the days I will be with this new blessing that He has given to me. I know I will be expecting a lot of better days. I know, this is really where He wants me to be. Foundation, that is. I will be working not to please people of authority, but to help the community – in one way or another.

Aside from that wonderful blessing from above, I also got the chance to do some firsts during the Holy Week. First, I was able to attend a three-day recollection, which was held during the nights of Holy Monday to Wednesday. Second, while in queue for the confession, I got to meet a stranger who happens to belong in the same community where I am a member of. Third, I had an impromptu Visita Iglesia with two of my friends. Fourth, I got to witness the Seven Last Words that is being aired in one of the biggest network in the country, live. It was special to me because I only used to watch it on TV then. Fifth, I got to see and hear Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD already. He is one of my favorite priests, by the way. Sixth, I had the chance to be in front of the people inside the church proclaiming that God answered my prayers. It was as well an impromptu. Definitely, unexpected.

With all these happening is just a week, I just couldn’t thank Him enough. I am deeply humbled by all these blessing I never thought I’d ever receive.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not becoming preachy here. I just have to share the goodness of Him in me. After all, nothing is more worth sharing than the greatness of the One who made all these possible for us.

Be blessed. 

40 Days

let us be reminded of Jesus' sacrifice for us.

Today is Ash Wednesday.

For Catholics like me, today is not just a hint that Lent season have started, but this day reminds us that we came from ashes and that to ashes we shall go back.

I read the Didache reflection for today, and I was reminded to make my own sacrifice as the Lent season comes to its beginning. While I was at the Church hearing mass together with my parents this morning, I was at the same time thinking of what sacrifice will I be doing this Lent.

I thought of a lot of things, and suddenly I thought that perhaps I shall take a hiatus from blogging for this Lent. I know, this is not really a big sacrifice as compared to what others do. But for someone who loves to blog, and that blogging has become a part of her life, this is a big sacrifice already.

Taking a hiatus until Easter Sunday is not that easy. Imagine more than a month of not updating my blog, at the same time, more than a month of keeping my thoughts on the side. It is really going to be hard, but that is what sacrifice is all about right? Doing something hard, something not pleasurable perhaps for the glory of God.

Other than this, I intend to do something unusual everyday. Perhaps fasting in many ways and forms. 

Aside from the thought that it's Lent season, I also offer my daily sacrifice as a form of thanksgiving to Him, for He has blessed me with a big blessing. Something I will share when I come back.

My dear co-bloggers, and those who intentionally or unintentionally pass by my blog (by the way, my blog stats show that there are a lot of visitors each day, thanks to you guys), see you until after forty days. :)