Time Heals

Let me say this straight once and for all. I am deeply hurt. I don't know why some people couldn't be sensitive enough of other people's feelings. I have been hiding the hurt. I did my best to keep the pain locked inside me. I tried my best not to admit that I am actually hurting. But what else can I do? Sometimes, you just need to be honest - at least to yourself, right?

I was thinking whether to say my piece or just let it pass. Let time heal the wound and just shut up. But I also understand that there are circumstances in life wherein you need to let it all out. After all, it's unhealthy to keep all the pain inside. It's not good once it explodes.You sure won't like it.

For privacy reasons, I am not going to tell all. The story behind why I am hurting is just between me and myself. I hate to feel the way I'm feeling now. I feel so numb that I couldn't even shed a tear. I feel so numb that I couldn't pour out the right emotion. I hate to feel this. I really do.

At some point in our lives, we are capable to hurt someone without intending to do so. I understand that because I myself is guilty of such crime. I try to understand every time, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It feels bad when the person knows what you truly are feeling before the hurt has done. It feels bad when you suddenly realize that the thing you tried to fought for was just wasted in a snap.

I wish I could tell the whole story. I wish I could, but I couldn't. I don't want to create neither a buzz nor a scene. Admitting that I am hurting is enough. It somehow feels better. 

In time, everything will be put to its right places. In time, the wound will heal, but sadly the scar will be there for the rest of my life. In time. I just need time. One day, I will be capable to give what I do not have now. That is, to be truly happy for the other person.

Melody

About seven years ago, there was a girl who sat beside me on my first class on the first day of my college life. When I first saw her, I thought she was “maarte” and a probable bad influence. Oh, how can I forget, she asked for a piece of paper during that time. Imagine someone going to school without a piece of paper with her – on the first day of school. Hilarious!

Fast forward. Seven years after, I am with the same girl, but with a totally different impression about her. The girl I thought was a bad influence became my best friend. She’s actually more than that to me, because she is a sister. She’s my sister by heart.

If there is one person who knows me well, that would be Med. We’ve been together during the lowest and highest points of our lives. We’ve shared a couple of good and bad. We shared laughter and tears (though I honestly couldn’t remember a time that Med cried).

Melody is a woman by all means. She is tough, yet she has a soft heart. She is driven and passionate. She has a strong faith in God – the reason why she can handle all her struggles in life. She may be late (in almost) every time, but she would always make time for you especially when she knows she’s needed.

Med is a dreamer too. As I am the backpacker, she’s the nomad. She loves to paint, but could hardly find an inspiration to do her passion. She may be workaholic, but she still knows when and how to play and enjoy life.

I am blessed to have this woman in my life. God has been so gracious that He gave me a best friend who could be my source of strength, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, my listener, my counselor, my sister.  The past seven years of friendship we’ve had is really one of the bests.

Melody, happy birthday dear best friend! I know there’s going to be a lot more years of friendship for both of us to share – and I am thankful. I thank you for being the person that you are, and for just being there every time.

Today, as you start a new year to enjoy the goodness of life, all I have is a prayer that may the good Lord make all your dreams come true (I know you have a lot) – you deserve them. I know you have a good heart, so rest-assured that God is preparing the bests for you.

Cheers for the gift of life.

Cheers for the friendship that we have.

Cheers to all the blessings that are coming your way.

Again, happy 24^th birthday Melody! God bless. :)

(I am actually on a hiatus from blogging, but I thought this has to be posted. :D Anyone who wants to, can greet my best friend. :D) 

2011: May All Your Dreams Come True

Perhaps a lot of people are done with their new year's resolutions by now. As for me, I am not a fan of doing resolutions. For me, you can change anytime. You don't need to wait until new year just for you to change a bad habit or personal perspectives. 

Instead of resolutions, what I usually do is list down a couple of things I would want to do or have for that particular year. I list them down so at the end of the year, I'd have something to assess if I was able to achieve what I've listed.

For this year, I am not done with my list yet. I thought of 40 things to do and acquire, but I'm just more than a half of my prospected list. Maybe in the following days, I'd be able to complete it.

Anyway, to those who have their resolutions already or just like me, have their list of things you wish to do for this year, I wish you good luck. May it all happen. 

Have a good year everyone. I'll be gone from blogging for awhile, but will be back soon. :)

By the way, thank you to all of you who greeted me during the holidays. I appreciate it so much. God bless us all. :)